There and Back Again

Our Ethiopian Journey has come to an end, but our journey blazes onward. Come join us at our new blog as we continue loving, living and blogging.

Our new home: http://burningvapor.blogspot.com/

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Mistaken Identity

Bri and Ana attend a special ed pre-school several times a week for a couple of hours a session. It has been a great experience for them. Jennifer typically picks the girls up from school but Jennifer was prepping for her "Once a Month Cooking" Saturday so I picked the girls up.

I was standing outside of Ana's classroom just, you know, watching her interact with another little girl and her teachers. One of her teachers finally looked up and noticed me. She stood up and said, "Ok Riley, your Dad is here." The little girl, Riley, looked up at me and then went back to coloring while her teacher got up and started collecting her things. "Come on sweety, time to go". Riley didn't move. It finally dawned on me what was going on so I spoke up and said "Hey Ana!" Ana looked up and said "DADDDDDDDDDY!!", and started running towards me.

I could visually see the blood slowly leave her teacher's face as she replaced "Riley's" belongings and started digging out Ana's. I acted like I didn't notice because the obvious embarrassment was punishment enough. And in case you were not completely clear on what just happened...Riley was white and Ana is a nice mocha tone.

2007 Desiring God National Conference

For those of you like me who were not able to make the conference this year, Desiring God has blessed us greatly with free copies of the audio and VIDEO messages!!

Click here to download those messages.

A Great New, Old Volume

I recently read a book review over at The Shepherd's Scrapbook, which is a great blog to stay connected to, on "Christ Crucified: The Marrow of the Gospel in 72 Sermons on Isaiah 53" by a 17th century Presbyterian Puritan. My response to the volume is "WOW". Seriously, this book has been incredibly deep and rich. I am still plowing through it but I have thoroughly enjoyed the messages so far and my own faith is being impacted by the life of John Durham and the great Christ he and I worship. If you haven't picked up anything lighter than Lucado (sorry) lately, challenge your reading with this one.

Edit: I thought I would offer an example from his first sermon. Durham argues that if the Gospel is the greatest news that mankind will ever hear, and if our joy is only found in Jesus (the Gospel) and if, like Paul, we desire to only know Jesus and Him crucified, then we as Christians should remind ourselves everyday of the Gospel. (pg. 1-74)

This message has re-emerged among contemporary Christians and we are beginning to hear it preached again. It struck me that this was not a new thought among preachers, even 17th century Puritans were preaching the same message.

The Tooth Fairy

Yesterday, Caleb came in wiggling one of his "milk molars" (that's what they tell me it's called...who comes up with these names anyway?) Jennifer told him that if he pulled his tooth and put it under his pillow then he would wake up the next morning and find a dollar. Now, for those of you who know, we do not do "the tooth fairy", "the buggey man", "the easter bunny", or "satan claus". So Caleb was trying to figure out how the tooth disappeared and a dollar appeared. The only thing he could imagine was that God came down and took his tooth while he was sleeping and gave him a dollar. Kinda funny. We didn't explain it to him and left it alone for a little mystery. The boys were excited and didn't believe that it would happen, so that were rattling away in Amharic and talking about this great mystery.

The next morning Caleb got up and found his tooth replaced by a dollar and the boys were blown away. They were laughing and back slapping and having a great time. Well, we were at the doctor today and Caleb asked me, "Daddy, where dollar come from? Did God take tooth?" I replied, "No son, Daddy took your tooth and replaced it with a dollar."

No truth! was the response. They absolutely would not believe that I could have actually taken the tooth while they were sleeping. I started acting like I was sneaking into their room and then I acted like Caleb snoring and the boys got a real kick out of it, but they wouldn't believe it. So, with their arrogant little all-knowing smirks (I say that with a smile and an arrogant smirk on my own face by the way) on their faces, they challenged me to show them the tooth when we got home. I had actually forgotten about it and Caleb reminded me again. When I showed them the tooth you would have thought that I had just started burping purple bubbles. Their mouths were wide open and looks of astonishment spread across their faces. "Dad, how?" I repeated what I did and they all just started laughing.

Laughing, Caleb took the tooth and said, "Again Dad, again". At this point I was laughing at their reactions. "Nope, only happens once. Dad owns the tooth now." It was a good moment

Jack Handy Makes me Smile

I was visiting Keith's blog today and he quoted Jack Handey. Instead of filling Keith's blog up with JH quotes I figured I would just throw out a couple here. I haven't thought about Jack in a very long time, but he always puts a smile on my face. Here are three of my favorites. C'mon, smile, it's good for you and me both!

1. If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

2. If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say "How do you figger that!" real loud. Then lean back and sort of smirk.

3. Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.

Sitting, Wish I Was Standing!

Guess where I wish I was today!

12 Years in 2 Months...Please!

As I have said before I only chronicle a small portion of what we face everyday. Most people will read this and read into my statement some exaggeration - I assure you it is not. We are surrounded by a loving, caring church community who often ask "how are things going". I often pause for a moment because usually I can only remember some of yesterday and today. Our days are filled with minefield tip-toeing and a tow truck mentality (constantly trying to pull broken, beat up kids into yesterday). From 7am until 9pm we are constantly moving - from 9pm to 12am we are spending time defragmenting our minds and rehearsing the day to make sure most things were not left behind. Anyway, on to my post.

Here is a caution or warning for all of you who are still in the process of adopting - 12 years in 2 months...please!

Last night Caleb asked me if I would buy him a calculator. I asked him why? He said that he could use it at school.
I told him he was in 3rd grade and didn't need a calculator.
He told me that some kids in school use calculators.
I told him they were lazy.
He told me that a calculator would be an "erdata" (a help).
I told him that they would make HIM lazy.
I also told him that he was and Ethiopian and Ethiopians are hard workers so no calculators for him.
He told me that he was now American and needed a calculator.
I grew weary of the conversation and told him "No calculator, finished!"
And then he pulled his secret, manipulating little weapon, "Emma has a calculator!"
Ahhh, there we go - he had me, or so he thought.
Emma's calculator is a toy and she doesn't use it at school.
Well if Emma has a calculator then so should Noah, Josiah, and Caleb.
You can share Emma's calculator when she is not using it, now I am finished with this conversation - go to bed.

He pouted and marched off to bed, probably more sore that he lost a battle with me.


For context sake, our conversation is not as nearly as smooth as that. We stumble over words, make hand motions, I try to throw a little Amharic his way, we use pictures...it is a very time consuming, but important conversation. Now with any of my English speaking children I would have said no, you don't need one until later in school now go to bed...the conversation would have been finished. But the boys have no context with us and they are faced with almost unsurmountable challenges, so patience and reasoning come into play.

The point of my little post is to let you know that your children may want everything that they normally would have accumulated over the span of their lives if they had lived in America...especially if you already have children with belongings. The calculator was bought at the dollar store with money that was given to the girls for a birthday last year. The jeweled giraffe was given by Grandmommy, the used Game boy was given by a cousin in Georgia last year, their umpteen pairs of shoes have been collected by a clothing swap and some of them they can no longer even wear, the dolls have been collected over 8 years, and so on and so on. But they expect to have it all, now if you don't mind.

We were warned that this would happen beforehand so we cleaned out a lot of what the girls have collected over the years. To be honest it was way past time to do it and we offloaded a ton of junk...I mean stuff. Jennifer has gone through their belongings once again and downsized even more. I walked through their room last night and quite honestly it could be emptied out one more time.

It is a tightrope - you most definitely DO NOT want to give your adopted children lot's of stuff when they first arrive home. But you also have to realize that you are going to cause yourself heartache and your adopted children jealousy if you swing one way or another. So climb up here with us on the tightrope and start committing some "contentment" verses to memory. While you are doing that, feel free to start decluttering, dejunking, and simply simplifying YOUR life so that you will be prepared to help them transition a little better.

What's In a Name?

My son's have very strong feelings about their new American names. It is a matter of absolute pride for them. They wield the name as a weapon sometimes by giving it back to us when they are angry. "I'm not a McConnell!", they sometimes shout. I usually simply shrug and say, "Ok, but you still must obey". There are a couple of instances that have revealed to me how much their name means to them.

The day before school started the boys had an orientation at their school. It was a very exciting time and the whole family went to encourage them and give them support. They were enthralled by the desks, art on the walls, and they were especially encouraged to see that they had their own desk and their own locker. It was truly a thrilling moment for them. And then (I hate writing those words because it seems to happen so often..."and then") they noticed their name tags. Noah was first. Laminated on colorful plastic it read "Noah McConnell". He picked up his name tag, looked at it and then threw it down on the table with absolute disdain.

"Not my name!", he exclaimed. I picked it up and looked at it. Yes Noah, this is you. NO!! He became angry. Noah McConnell is not my name, no Patrick. Ah, I thought I got it and had a quick answer for him. It's ok, they just shorten your name for school. When Dad goes to work, people do not call him by his full name, just Patrick. At school you are Noah McConnell.

But he would have none of it. My name is "Noah Zelalem Patrick McConnell"! Why no Patrick in name? I said, "Noah, you are still Noah Zelalem Patrick McConnell but at school your name is just "tennish" (short). It's ok, I tried to assure him. Josiah and Caleb had separate but identical responses. They were deeply offended that the name I use (Patrick) was not attached to their name. You see, in their culture the child takes on the father's first name as their last. The boys actually wanted to hack off the "McConnell" and just have "Patrick" as their last name.

Tonight was another great example. I was trying to explain to Josiah how North, South, East and West worked on a map and he just couldn't get it. So I wrote his name in the middle of the compass and told him "this is where Josiah stands" and here are the ways you can go away from Josiah. He said, "oh, ok, I understand" and then he pointed to his name. "My name is Josiah McConnell when I am at school." I know son, but I am just trying to explain how a compass works on a scrap piece of paper and the important thing to know is that you are in the middle of the compass. "Ok. My name is Josiah McConnell." And he sat there and looked at me, waiting. I scribbled McConnell under Josiah on our little scrap piece of paper and he smiled.

"Thank you Daddy". You are welcome son.

We played soccer the other day at a friends house. The McConnell boys (me included) were on one team and the other family competed against us. It was a very laid back and unstructured game to be sure - I have no idea about any of the rules in soccer except that you can't use your hands. We won the little game 5-2 and you should have seen my sons. They were running around the yard like they had just won the biggest soccer game in the century. And you know what they kept saying? "The McConnell Family won, the McConnell Family won, the McConnell family won." They were absolutely ecstatic.

Today I was meditating on 1 Peter 2 and I noticed that Peter thought very highly of what is in a name.

"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession,"

Peter was using several Old Testament pictures to describe the believer's position and relationship in the New Covenant with God and he used names. They are names or descriptive titles loaded with meaning and value and as believers we can study the meaning behind those names and have an even clearer picture of who we are. With titles comes a purpose, a direction; with an identity comes security. My son's are learning to find great security in carrying the McConnell name and we should find great security in caring the name of our Father.

I have learned a great lesson from my son's and from Peter - knowing who you are means a great deal and it should impact the way that you live.