Kindness

I have been reflecting on "kindness" today as I am preparing for a Sunday School class this Sunday. Specifically we will be looking at David's merciful act of showing kindness to Mephibosheth. David's question in 2 Sam. 9:1 reveals David's great love for Jonathan - that even though David was the new King and culturally he should have killed all of Saul's descendants to eliminate any threat to his throne...he desired to show kindness.

One of our introduction questions directs me to think about a moment of kindness expressed to me in a moment when someone valued me over themselves. I'm not sure why, but one image immediately rushed into my mind. One evening I was at the hospital when our daughter Abby was dying. We had many friends and family come and visit us during those terrible hours and most of those events will always remain a blur to me. However, I do remember a moment of simple kindness and I'm not quite sure why this image has always stuck with me.

Among all of the friends and family that came to visit I distinctly remember Lukas Naugle and Andrew Eggimann visiting one night. I was walking around the floor trying to let off a little stress when I bumped into them. I do not remember anything that was said between us, but I do remember something they did - they gave me a back rub. I am sure that they gave me words of encouragement and probably even prayed for me, but the only thing I remember is that back rub. I stood in the hallway of that hospital and they both took turns rubbing my shoulders. I remember the pain in my muscles from all the tense hours of that time being rubbed and pushed out.

It was a simple moment of kindness. We often have no idea what to say or do during moments of tragedy. Normally when you ask someone if you can do something there is not much to be said. I am sure that they asked me if they could do something for me and I am sure I simply asked them to pray. But in that moment their brotherly love was seen in the action of a back rub and for that, I will forever be grateful. Thanks brothers!

Two Great Resources

The guys over at Logos Bible Software have put together "The John Piper Sermon Manuscript Library" which looks like a great resource for Bible students. It is currently in the "Pre-pub" status which means if you order now you save money on the Published price.

Check it out!









I also just ordered some messages from Voddie Baucham Ministries which I am very excited to listen to. I heard Voddie Baucham preach for the first time at the Desiring God National Conference and was very impressed by his message as well as his preaching style.

I am currently leading a group of men through his book "Family Driven Faith" which is a phenomenal book on parenting and marriage. Baucham's materials are really impacting the way I raise my own family as well as the way I shape "Family and Children's Ministry" at Valley Bible.

Both of these are great resources for anyone studying the Word and/or raising/impacting a family.

Interview: Thabiti on Transracial Adoption and the Gospel

I found the following article interesting and wanted to pass it on to our readers:


[Carolina Hope is a Christian adoption agency that serves families from all over the country.]

I’m very pleased to announce that this is the first in a series of interviews about adoption. The purpose of these interviews is to address adoption-related issues from a theological, gospel-centered perspective. We will be interviewing theologians, authors, adoptive parents, and a few adult adoptees about a number of adoption issues. Carolina Hope is committed to helping Christians in general and both prospective and adoptive families in particular think theologically about all things adoption. We believe that this interview series will help us accomplish this.

Our first interview is with Thabiti Anyabwile, pastor of First Baptist Church of Grand Cayman. *Pastor Thabiti is a native of Lexington, North Carolina (U.S.). He is the happy husband of Kristie and the adoring father of two daughters, Afiya and Eden, and son, Titus. He began serving as elder/senior pastor in August 2006. He served previously as an elder/assistant pastor at Capitol Hill Baptist Church (Washington, DC) and as an elder at Church on the Rock (Raleigh, NC). Thabiti holds B.S. and M.S. degrees in psychology from North Carolina State University. A former high school basketball coach and bookstore owner, he enjoys preaching, reading, sports, and watching sci-fi films. He also blogs at Pure Church.

1. Tell us a little about First Baptist Church of Grand Cayman.

This year FBC is celebrating its 30th anniversary. The church began in 1977 with 21 people from one of the ‘sister islands’ (Cayman Brac) meeting in a local living room. Today, there are people from about 25 nations who call FBC their spiritual home. It’s easily the most ethnically diverse church I’ve ever served. The people here love the Lord, His gospel, and His people. It’s a great joy to serve them.

2. As a pastor, what’s your primary burden for your people?

To see us all grow in holiness, to be shaped more and more in the image of Christ and therefore fit for heaven. We live on what most people consider an “island paradise.” Not surprisingly, then, the levels of worldly hedonism and materialism are quite high. But that’s really a tremendous gospel opportunity if the Lord grows us in Christ-likeness, disdain for this world, and commitment to living and sharing the gospel. If we can have more of heaven in us, even before we’re in heaven, the contrast between life in the kingdom and life in the world will be stark. I long to see us yearn for Christ and His kingdom.

3. You recently wrote an excellent and thought-provoking article entitled “Many Ethnicities, One Race.” Why did you write it?

It was a privilege to be asked to contribute to the 9Marks eJournal issue on ethnicity and the church. Generally, I don’t like talking or writing a great deal about ethnicity and race; there are too many ways in which those conversations are unhelpful and unedifying. Nevertheless, the Lord has given us sufficient guidance for these issues in His word and I’m convinced we’ve not mined the Scripture enough. And that’s really problematic given how glaring a problem the racial history of the U.S. has been—the church not excepted. So, at the invitation of the brothers at 9Marks I tried to offer what I hope is a useful, biblical framework for thinking through these issues.

4. Some people, for any number of reasons, are uncomfortable with the idea of transracial adoption. Other people, because of their views on race, are outright opposed to the idea of transracial adoption; they believe that adoption across ethnic lines should not be practiced. How might the Bible speak to these concerns?

Well, I think it depends on the nature of the discomfort or opposition. If the discomfort or opposition is grounded in some assumption that “races” are unequal or that “races” should remain segregated in family and social relationships, I think the Bible rebukes and corrects that kind of thinking in several ways. First, it’s clear that there is only one “race” of man, all descended from our original parents Adam and Eve (Gen. 2; Acts 17:26). There is no biblical basis for discomfort or opposition based on racial attitudes. Second, the alienation that sometimes stirs opposition to transracial adoption is really a spiritual problem. It’s a product of the Fall of man into sin. The cure for that problem is saving faith in Jesus Christ, wherein man is first reconciled to God and then reconciled to other men. So, for Christians in particular, those who are adopted into the family of God through faith in Christ, opposition to transracial adoption is tantamount to denying the work of Christ on the cross.

But there may also be discomfort or opposition not based on racial attitudes but some prudential concerns. Some may wonder if they are sufficiently equipped to parent across culture and ethnicity. Others may worry about the tension or conflict they may experience. There we have to remember that we are not called to love only in the convenient places and situations. We’re called to a radical love, one that mirrors the love of God for broken sinners. And the end of such love is unspeakable joy. For the joy set before Him, Jesus Christ endured the inconvenient and uncomfortable agony of the cross to redeem a people who were hostile toward Him. Adoption across ethnic lines may be one of the best pictures of that radical Christ-like love we have available to us today. So, “prudential” concerns that awaken discomfort aren’t finally sufficient reason to refuse or oppose such adoptions.

5. More and more couples are considering adopting transracially. How would you counsel a couple that desires to adopt a child from another race (i.e. ethnicity)? How would you seek to educate them theologically? How should the gospel help shape their view of transracial adoption?

The first thing I would want to do is simply commend and encourage them. I’d want to commend this act of selflessness and love. And I’d want to encourage them to remember that God’s grace is sufficient for their every need. That’s true of parenting in general, and it’s true of the specific case of transracial adoption and parenting. So, first, be encouraged.

Second, I’d want to encourage them to jettison the idea of “race” as it has historically been defined. Drop it like the bad habit it is. Learn to read the Scripture for its accent on our common humanity. Hayes’ Biblical Theology of Race is very valuable in this regard. Think of the children, indeed all people, as essentially “same” rather than “other.”

But third, having acknowledged our common humanity, think and teach your children to think in terms of “the nations.” In other words, there’s a tremendous opportunity in multi-ethnic families to cultivate a deeper concern for missions and getting the gospel to all nations. Try to prevent conversations and cross-cultural education from terminating on man or your family; try to think of those conversations as opportunities for thinking great thoughts about God who wants to be known among all people. The Lord has purposed that His glory will be shown in the bowing of the nations to His name. Our reflection on ethnicity and culture is incomplete if it doesn’t have that goal in mind.

6. Many who will read this interview have already adopted transracially. They are often concerned that their transracially adopted children will struggle with a sense of identity since they do not have same-race parents or do not live in an ethnically diverse area. Would you address their concern?

Again, I’d want to remind them that the Lord’s grace is sufficient for their parenting and this concern. Lean into that grace; commit this issue to the Lord in prayer. He’ll direct your steps and give you wisdom in this area.

Second, it’s important to think of parenting as essentially an exercise in identity formation (spiritually first, and ethnically in light of those spiritual realities). So, give considerable time to helping your child think of her or himself as one made in the image of God. The dignity of their lives is derived primarily from this aspect of their identity. Whatever struggles they encounter in terms of social and ethnic identity, they should resolve them in light of this fundamental truth. Also, parents want to help their children ground their identity in Christ if the child is/becomes a Christian. They are being renewed in the knowledge of God, righteousness and holiness through their union with Christ. This is the most profound aspect of who they are and understanding this is critical for putting identity conflicts in their proper perspective. Having laid that theological basis then it’s time to think critically about ethnic culture, experiences, and ideas.

The mistake many will make—partly out of an overdeveloped sense of guilt, and partly out of a desire to help their children—is to rush to ethnic and cultural considerations. Based on my own experience running rites of passage programs aimed at fostering cultural identity and values, most children are really ill-equipped for this kind of exploration because they haven’t settled larger, more fundamental questions about existence, faith, and purpose. Parents want to lay that foundation first. Children will be healthier in the long run even if the struggle feels acute at some points. But for help with ethnic identity issues, don’t be afraid to enlist the help of others. Build cross-cultural friendships. Include cross-cultural experiences in the family’s entertainment options (books, movies, concerts, etc.). This may take some investment, but it’s not only good for the child but the parents as well.

Thank you, Thabiti, for your kindness in taking the time to answer these questions. I know that, by God’s grace, your answers will serve adoptive families well.

*Most of this paragraph was taken directly from First Baptist Church of Grand Cayman’s “Meet the Staff” page.

YOU ARE SELFISH!!

These are the words my sons yelled at me last week. We have been down to one car for quite some time and I was considering riding the bus in order to keep expenses down. We have 7 kids going to 3 different schools so that Utopian idea was quickly tossed out of the window.

We were taking a walk through the neighborhood and the boys were asking me how I could tell between an old car and a new car. We talked for awhile and I made a side comment about needing to buy another car. They seemed excited and we continued with our walk. Later that night I went into the boy's room to give out hugs, kisses and prayers and there was a very angry feeling in the room. It was quite the contrast because only moments earlier we were one big happy family strolling through sleepy Millwood. I asked, "What's wrong" and in Amharic "Meno sehetuet".

I was then hit by an onslaught of complaints:

1. My bed is too narrow.
2. My bed is too short.
3. My bed is too tall.
4. My bed is broken.
5. Our room is too small.
6. Our room is not as big as everyone else's.
7. There are three of us and all other rooms have two people.
8. Why does Katie get her own room?
9. We want our own rooms!
10. We want our own bathrooms!
11. We want a fan for each boy.
12. My shoes are dirty so I need new shoes.
13. My friend has many shoes and I only have 3 pair.
14. We only have 2 soccer balls.
15. Our bikes are too wobbly, short, tall, creaky, and broken.

And on and on the complaints went. My head was literally spinning from all of the complaints they were prepared to lodge - from the nightlight not working correctly to our clothes do not get washed fast enough - I could barely keep up. At first I reasoned with them and tried to explain why they had what they had and the thankfulness that they should be showing instead of complaining. I explained that many people had helped us with all of the things we have and they were ready for yet another attack.

1. We no longer want people to help us.
2. We do not like people bringing us food - we should have enough money to by our own food.
3. We do not like people giving us clothes - we are not beggars!
4. We do not want anything from the people at church - we are wealthy enough to take care of ourselves.

It was at this point that I began to come unglued. I told them that everything they had was given to us - their sheets, their balls, their gloves, EVERYTHING!

They then tried another tactic. We think you should not buy another vehicle and instead use the money to knock out our bedroom wall and make our room bigger. And that was about ENOUGH for me.

I angrily looked up the word for "selfish" and told them that everything they were saying revealed how selfish they were. And they fired it right back - "Patrick, YOU are selfish!"

I was angry enough to start fighting back tears. Our interchange lasted for about an hour and most of that was listening to their complaints and trying to explain why we had what we had. It was emotionally and spiritually exhausting.

The next day Caleb went to school and the other two went to work with me because they had refused to go. While everyone was out of the house, Jennifer stripped everything from them. And I do mean EVERYTHING. Socks, shoes, bedsheets, underwear, balls, bikes, gloves, pillows, Bibles, music, radio, etc - you name it and it was taken away. When the boys came home they were absolutely stunned and had no response except for open mouths. We explained to them that EVERYTHING was given to us and they were disrespecting the givers of the gifts, they were disrespecting their parents, they were disrespecting their Ethiopian parents, and most of all they had dishonored the Lord. For each "good" day, they would receive 1 item in return.

Once they had sometime to talk to one another they decided that they didn't want anything from us - only their Ethiopian Bible (not Amharic/English bible) and their address book. We said ok. That night the first thing they asked for were their bed sheets. The next day it was their Bible and the next was their bicycles. It has been a week now and they just asked for their address books last night. Funny how perspectives change.

This seems to be working well. The boys have even asked if we would spank them instead of take things away, so we know the discipline is effective. Overall we have had a good week and a half and I pray that it continues.

The two pictures above are of the new truck I am picking up tomorrow...and the second picture is of me and Noah when I showed him the picture of Dad's new truck.

Learn Something New Everyday

I took the boys to the hospital yesterday to have some blood work done. The boys have had their blood drawn before and were a little skittish but nothing major. We went to the hospital and filled out a ton of paperwork and then sat and waited. We eventually went back to the lab and Noah hopped into the seat first. Everything was moving along smoothly until the tech pulled out the "11" little bottles to fill with blood. We assured Noah that it would be ok because it was only one poke and the only pain would be getting the poke - not each bottle. I asked him if he wanted to hold my hand and he smiled and batted my hand away - typical boy. The first couple of bottles went fine, but he quickly began to get angry. The tech thought he was passing out but I knew the look - he was quickly flying into a rage - flared nose, red eyes. I asked him, "Are you ok buddy?" and I put my hand on his knee. He jerked his knee away from me and said something very harshly. The tech started hurrying up because he could now see the rage filling Noah's face. I asked, "Noah, is it hurting you? What's wrong?" He used his other hand to point at me and rattle off something angrily in Amharic. In the background Caleb was pacing around like a caged animal repeating over and over, "No daddy, no daddy, no daddy". I had no idea what was going on. The boys had their blood drawn in Addis so it wasn't a new experience for them and we had joked around about them being brave and they had seemed totally fine. Noah began crying and was only getting angrier when the tech finished. Noah stomped off and out the door he went. Josiah was next.

Josiah sat down in the chair and put his head in his hands and began to weep. I said, "Josiah, it's ok buddy, it's just one poke". He jerked his arm away from me and said something in disgust under his breath and would no longer make eye contact. He sat there and let the tech draw his blood. Caleb's apparent anxiety was growing feverish now and I told him sternly to sit down - his anxious movements were obviously causing Josiah even more distress. Josiah finished and I said, "ok Caleb you are next".

He ran out of the room, out of the hospital and hid behind some vehicles. I spent the next 10 minutes trying to coerce him back into the room and it was only through my insistence that he obey that he complied. It took us several more minutes to prep him. The nurse was trying to reason with him and Caleb was growing more and more animated. He was absolutely refusing to have 11 vials of blood drawn, so the nurse took out two larger vials and said "ok, just two". Caleb looked at the two vials and compared them with the 11 smaller vials and said, "No, they are the same - two big and 11 small, the same". I eventually told the nurse that she was just going to have to do it because he would not be reasoned with. A tech held his right side and I gently held his arm and knee. Another tech came in to assist. When the needle entered his arm you would have thought we had stuck his arm into a wood chipper. He screamed louder than any kid I have ever heard in my life and he maintained that scream throughout the entire process. Towards the end he started fighting us and trying to bite us at the same time screaming his head off. The female tech eventually told him, "THAT IS ENOUGH, NOW SIT STILL" - he slowed down in his screaming and stopped trying to bite us but it was still not pretty. Noah and Josiah sat in the background ranting and raving.

This whole episode sent the boys into a tailspin and they wanted to call Michelle and go back to Ethiopia immediately. I was trying to be empathetic as possible, which admittedly I probably did not do a very good job in because I thought they were being extremely foolish. We returned home and the boys were angry with me for the rest of the night.

I remained baffled about the whole experience until bed time. I was putting all the boys in bed when I noticed Caleb holding his left arm like it was limp and trying to move his blankets down at the same time. He asked me to move his blanket down and he told me he couldn't use his arm anymore. I asked him what he was talking about and he said that all the blood had been taken from his arm and he could no longer use it. I looked at him like he was crazy and noticed that Noah and Josiah were watching me. That is when it dawned on me. The boys think that when you have your blood drawn it does not replenish, so when they saw 11 vials leaving their arms they freaked out. I had a hard time trying to communicate how the body replenishes blood - they laughed at me like I was crazy and went to bed.

This morning Caleb was still holding his arm like it was no longer of anymore use. We are pretty sure that Noah told Caleb to stop acting like a baby, so that was encouraging. I am curious to see how they are doing this afternoon when I pick them up from school.

Catching Up

There has been a lot going on in life in the past week and I have been finding little time or energy to blog. Overall, things have gotten MUCH better. When I say "MUCH", I mean that the police have not come again, no windows have been broken, and I have not had to disarm a steak knife from a son. We met with the Gardeners about a week or two ago at the Bade's and we all had a very candid conversation. Apparently Noah had been hoping that if he was bad enough he would eventually be able to be sent home. His whole goal in breaking windows and pulling knives was to go to jail and then be sent back to Ethiopia. His plan came crashing down when Michelle told him that there was no way that he was returning to Ethiopia. We explained to the boys that we believe that it would be a sin on our part to send him to another family. We explained to him that he could break every window in our home, pull knives on people, and be the most destructive that he possibly could and he would still be a McConnell. He may have to go to jail or some facility that would help him, but when he got out, he would still be a McConnell. It was a startling wake up call for him and it has made all the difference.

He still gives angry looks, says hateful and hurtful things, stomps around the house when he doesn't get his way, and is constantly looking for a reason to be angry. On a daily basis I hear "You are not my father", "I hate you", "I hate America", "My name is not McConnell", and my personal favorite "You are a bad Pastor". At one point he said your name is not "Pastor McConnell" it is "Pastor..." and he pointed at his groin.

Through it all I have seen that there is something broken inside him and as much as he "hates" us, he longs to really be a McConnell. He longs to really be loved. He longs to believe %100 that we are really his parents no matter what. I have read stories about kids like this and now I get to see him face to face.

It is not easy. One day I will be at the end of my rope and Jennifer will help recenter me and vice versa. Everyday we are absolutely mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. I am not sure that we have ever been through anything so hard.

Well my "quick update" has turned wordy. I guess I would close by saying thank you all for praying. I have never had so many people tell me that they are praying for me. Literally, everyday someone emails me, calls me, or tells me face to face that they are praying for us and it has been a huge encouragement. Please continue to pray, we have a long road ahead of us.

Learning to be a Kid Again

One of the challenges that an older Ethiopian boy who has last his father must face is learning to be a kid again and letting go of being in charge. Here are a few blissful pictures in the eye of the storm.

(The little boy with Noah is their younger biological brother who was adopted by a family in Spokane last year. That family was told that Micah was an only child and that both parents had died. Clearly Micah is not an only child and their mother is still alive.)

Caleb, Micah, and Noah (background: Josiah and Makayla)

L to R: Josiah, Ana, Makayla, Bri, Emma, Caleb, Hunter (Micah's adopted brother),
Micah, ? (Micah's adopted sister), and Noah

L to R: Caleb, Noah, Josiah and Makayla before the "big race"...(Josiah won by about 50 yds.)

F to B: Josiah, Caleb, Noah (this was their first time in a boat and their first time seeing a "large" [its not] river - Noah stopped us to pray and ask God to protect us...it was a little funny)

The Ride

I am sitting at our new kitchen table - it seats 10 comfortably and we could probably add a few if need be. The boys and Emma are outside playing and Makayla and the babies are downstairs watching TV. Jennifer and Katie are running some errands...and here I sit.

The house
is quiet
for a moment and only a moment.

Even now Emma and Caleb are running in with the mail.

Our lives have been crazy this past week. I took the boys camping at Tshimikain Creek Camp to serve at the Union Gospel Mission's camp for troubled youth. It was a great time of introducing the boys to new things - a river, canoes, sharks (long story), a cougar, a campfire, and endless bicycle trails. There are many stories to tell and maybe one day I will get them recorded, but not today. We returned from camping on Thursday with great shouts of joy from the boys to see their Mom and sisters, and from their sisters to see their brothers. It promised to be a good next week.

On Friday morning, Noah woke up angry at the world and flew into one of his temper tantrums and the world turned upside down. He spent the vast majority of the day running away and sitting across the street steaming at us. He eventually began throwing rocks at our house and declaring that he was no longer Noah McConnell and that his name was Zelalem Tadios. He was also demanding to talk to Michelle from CWA so that he could go back to Africa because he was finished with us. It was a long, long day.

He eventually broke a window and busted the siding on the house and I had reached my breaking point. I chased him for a few blocks and providence would have us run right into a policeman. I eventually caught up to him before he reached the policeman. I picked up him and he began punching me in the face and chest. His first blow caught me by surprise and my grip loosened. I tried to secure his legs because he was kicking me as well. The policeman had started to make his way over to us at this time. I am sure it was a strange sight to see a white guy gently man handling a little black boy. We talked for awhile with Officer Stipe/Stine (something like that) and he encouraged Noah to return home or have Dad "carry him" home. Noah was obstinate during the whole conversation and actually asked to go to jail when the Officer suggested that he may end up there.

The Officer eventually left, wishing me well and we returned home. Noah continued to refuse to enter the house and returned to pelting the house with rocks. I chased him again and he ran to another neighbors house. I left him there and went home. That neighbor called the police and I called at the same time. A friend of ours was actually on duty and responded. Noah was so angry that he refused to obey me and the policeman. He was eventually handcuffed and put in the police car to be transported to Sacred Heart's psychiatric ward for attempting to kill himself with a steak knife. We continued to plead with Noah to simply come into the house and eat dinner and obey and he continued to yell and scream at us. Jennifer and Caleb were in tears and all the other kids were bewildered. Josiah simply said, "Zelalem crazy".

The car was about to leave when he relented and decided to come inside and obey if we promised to take him to see "Michelle at CWA". We agreed and he came in, ate dinner and then went to bed. We were on the phone throughout the situation with a couple of different counselors seeking wisdom and guidance. The next day we went to see Michelle and the conversation did not quite go the way he was expecting. She told him that he was not going to go back to Africa no matter how bad he was or what he did. Jennifer and I liken disruption to divorce and it is simply not an option for us no matter how bad it gets. We covenanted together to raise all of our children before a holy God and we take that just as seriously as our marriage. We also explained to him that the Ethiopian gov't. and American gov't. all say that he is our son. His Ethiopian Mom and even the Lord says he is our son. There is no way to go back.

After two, one hour sessions he relented and submitted. He hugged Jennifer and I, and said that we were his parents and that he was choosing to love and obey us. It was a lull in the storm and we were glad for it.

That was on Saturday and today is Monday. Since then he has had a couple of borderline moments but he committed to talking through them and not flying off into a rage. The emotional, mental and spiritual drain is that we end up having lengthy conversations about everything that he doesn't like that we decide. It is so exhausting trying to communicate using sentence fragments and single words. But we are committed no matter the cost.

It is quiet again.

I'm enjoying the momentary break.

Suffering for the Lord is good, but hard.

Thanks for praying.

Good Morning

I like to read. I like to read a lot. In the pas several months I have added multiple blogs to my reading list because it encourages me to see what our Lord is doing in other parts of the planet as well as exposing me to great thinkers, church planters, and men exercising their faith. My time around a blog also gives me a little snuggle time with my daughters - so on one screen I set pictures up for them to look at and on another I read and write. This morning I was reading and posting on one of my favorite blogs - Keith and Amy Watson - and decided to take a picture. Bri is wearing her extra special Barbie princess night gown and Ana is wearing her extra special Strawberry Shortcake nightgown. These two night gowns have probably been worn every night for the past few months. Matter of fact, Bri has told me that she cannot be my little princess unless she is wearing her princess gown.

Even as I am typing Bri and Ana have gone to watch Dora and now Ana has returned. "Dad, I wanna climb up." She then sees her picture on one of the monitors and wants to take another. Here is the picture that we have taken together. She is nodding her approval and saying, "It's Daddy and the Princess" - and she is most assuredly right. It is moments like these that remind me why I love children so much and why my home will never have "enough" little feet running here and there. Parenting is the greatest opportunity to disciple and I have become very comfortable knowing that the Lord may never do anything "great" with my life, but he may use one of my precious gems to change the world.

Number 3 (Caleb) has wandered in this morning and is all teeth at looking at pictures of his sisters on our blog. I tell him to look right here and he doesn't realize it but...*flash* he has now joined the post.

So good morning and go make a difference.

Trip Pictures, Peace, & a 12 Year Old...oh my!

I am still working on our new blog but in meantime you can enjoy some of the pictures that will be accessible through the site. You can view those here.

Hopefully I will be able to launch the new site in the next couple of days.

Life is still fragile around here. Noah has gone 3 days with a good attitude and being very obedient. He hasn't run away again and there have been no more "counseling" sessions. There have been a couple of moments when he has been corrected and you could see the wheels turning - rage or submit. So far, he has chosen submission, but it still creates eggshell moments.

Josiah and Caleb are starting to struggle a little. Nothing earth shattering - grief, loss, depression, a little brotherly arm punching type of stuff. We are working on it and getting through it. We have learned that Josiah is actually 12, well at least 12 and probably much older. I took all three boys to the Doctor the other day for their first check up and in general there health is pretty good. We have a whole list of labs and stool samples that we have to have done, but overall a decent bill of health. The Doctor confirmed my suspicions that he was much older than 9 years old, but the other two seem to be right on track. This has caused a little bit of concern for us simply because it forces us to rethink school and an appropriate grade. We are praying and talking through it.

So the parents of our new 8, 10, 12+ year old sons are still kneeling before the Lord and He continues to lead us one step at a time. It has been unbelievably hard and there have been many tears shed and walls punched, but God continues to remain good and we continue to remain vastly dependent.

God is Good...All the Time

This has become our mantra. While we were in Addis our son Noah would sing this in a song over and over. Little did we know that we would be repeating this over and over in a different context. We have had an extremely hard time with Noah. When we first picked him up he seemed to be the most spiritual and grateful, but his attitude quickly changed. He has run away twice already and we have had several confrontations with him. He is a young man full of loss, anger and bitterness and this often manifests itself in absolute rage. I am hoping to post my journal as well as pics from the trip today, but we have been absolutely exhausted everyday since we returned and much of it is from trying to love and parent Noah.

Please be praying and remember...God is Good all the time!

Breakfast

Come join us for breakfast!

3 lbs. of potatoes
14 slices of French Toast
10 slices of Pancake
4 Peaches
3 Bananas
1 Full pitcher of Apple Juice
1 Full pitcher of Hot Tea
1 Full pot of Coffee

The boys have gained about 4 lbs. in the past week.

Reality Check

Wow! What a ride! We haven't been home a week yet and let me tell you, it has been faith stretching to say the least. Jennifer and I are both battling a touch of some stomach ailment, although not too serious. Jennifer got strep the day we came back and has been down and out for most of the past few days. I have been primarily running the house - meals, cleaning, dressing, showers, etc. The boys are adjusting fairly well. They are still getting used to being the only Ethiopians in shouting distance and our bland American food.

Our middle son (at first thought to be the oldest) has really been struggling emotionally. We had a little confrontation with him while in Addis and had a counseling session with his Orphanage counselor. She warned us that he is very emotional and stubborn - she has been VERY right. Nothing we can't handle with the Lord's strength, but it has been another challenge. He is currently curled up in a ball crying his eyes out in his bed for some unknown reason. I am sure that he is dealing with grief and loss - the language barrier is difficult both ways in trying to console and comfort him. I sat on his bed with him for awhile watching the other two play cards and having a good time.

**Update** - While I was typing the above Caleb, Noah's younger brother, came and asked me to come. Noah wanted a t-shirt. While I was in their room I asked the boys again what was wrong with him. They said they didn't know, but Noah spoke up and spouted out something. Caleb said, "Ahhh" and then used hand gestures to show me that Noah was upset because I took away his chips and gave them to the rest of the kids. At lunch Noah had dumped the bags of chips out onto his plate - I took half of them and distributed them to the rest of the kids. So he was pitching a fit about his chips...and nothing more. If he was a normal kid then he would be disciplined for that but I think it is a way of dealing with things. No doubt it was wrong and I tried to explain that to him. He may have told me that just to save face about crying over something else...I have no idea. Anyway, it is things like that they we are dealing with...ah, the joys of parenting.

I will try to post my journal sometime this week...I still do not have our pictures transferred to my computer yet so those are coming also.

Home Again!

Just a quick note to let you know that we have arrived in Spokane safely. Everyone is tucked away in their beds and trying to recover. Thanks for praying and I will update the blog over the next couple of days with our Addis Ababa Journal.

We have safely arrived in Frankfurt and we are all doing well. We should bbe leaving in a few hours for Chicago and then on to Spokane. The boys are doing well and were only slightly freaked out by the plane ride, escalator, and hand dryer in the bathroom. See ya soon!

We are in Addis

We arrived safely. Things have been going very well. Our luggage is still lost so we are roughing it. The Embassy date went very smoothly. We have taken a ton of pictures and will post those up as soon as we get back. The boys are doing very well and couldn't have been more excited to meet us. They are extremely affectionate - constantly touching, hugging, kissing and loving on us. They like to feed us as a sign of honor and often give up their shoes, food and seats for us. Will post more later. We are all doing well.

Patrick, for
Jennifer
Megan

Rerouted

We have safely arrived in Frankfurt Germany. We are being rerouted to Cairo and then on to Addis. The trip has gone well so far with some thunderstorms, plane maintenance and some heavy turbulence just for fun. I will keep you uppdated as I can. Love and miss you all.

Patrick
Jennifer
Megan

Update on Life

There has been much going on in the McConnell household and most of it has been overshadowed by the pursuit of our 3 sons, so I wanted to give you all an update on a few other extremely important things that have happened in our lives recently.

#1. Arianna Marie Jade Phillips (Jennifer is holding her in this picture) became Ariana Marie Joy McConnell on 6/20/07, her second birthday. Ana has faced many challenges in her young life and it has been God's grace that has brought her to us. We picked Ana up in Yakima when she was 5 months old and she was a beautiful, quietly sleeping baby. Within 15 minutes on the road back to Spokane we became very aware of how she would be for the next year and a half - a constant scream! I mean that literally and figuratively. She has been a great joy (Joy) in our lives and we couldn't imagine life without her. She is only one of two cuddlers (Makayla) among our daughters and has a HUGE laugh when you get her going. I have a tendency to pace around the house when I talk on my cell phone and Ana has picked that up. You will constantly find her walking all over the house by herself talking on one of my old cell phones. If you ask her about it she says, "talking Daddy, talking".

Many family and friends came out to Ana's court date including her biological grandparents, Roy & Charlene, who have become an important part of our family. They are also Bri's grandparents and have basically adopted Emma and Kayla as grandchildren. They have been a real blessing to our family. After the court date we went to Riverfront Park and celebrated by riding the carousel, eating ice cream and playing on the big red wagon with our friends the Streltzoff's and of course Grandma T (Takisaki). Ana is very excited about her brothers and everytime she see's a black or brown person she asks us "Caleb?" or "Noah?" or "Josiah"? It's really cute, but it shows how much we have been praying for them and how much we have tried to include the entire family in the journey.

#2 Katie Heidenreich is like a daughter to us and we had the great pleasure of sending her off to Romania on a mission trip to work with Romanian Orphans. Katie has felt like overseas missions could be a real possibility for life for her and we have been encouraging her in that direction. God made it very clear that she was to go on this trip through a lot of affirming circumstantial moments and the affirmation of the Elder's and the Church Body of VBC. Katie is in Romania this very moment for a week so please be in prayer for her. We are praying that the Lord would make it clear whether or not He is calling her into longterm overseas missions. Katie has been very patient and faithful in prayer as she has waited for the Lord to open this door and so it is very exciting to see her acting on her faith. We miss you Katie!!

#3 This past Sunday the Elder's and VBC body installed me (Patrick) as an Elder at VBC! This was a very exciting and incredibly humbling moment for me. The Lord has done so much in my life personally and I stand in awe that He wastes/spends His time on a lowly creature like me. It has been a great pleasure and an honor to serve among the VBC Body and I work along some truly great men. Currently our Elder Board includes Ben Orchard who is the Teaching Pastor, Doug Snook and Dave Jones. I enjoy ministering with these men greatly and am constantly encouraged by their commitment to the Body of Christ and His mission.

Although none of these men read my blog, I would like to thank several key men who have invested time, sweat, and tears into my life.

1. David Burns - Burnie confronted me in the Spring of 1992 with the Gospel and pursued me like the hound from Heaven. I will never know what he saw in me or what drove him to be so faithful in pursuing a pathetic wretch. But he was extremely faithful in pursuing me every day for 9 months and taking every opportunity to point me to Christ. Burnie is an evangelist and he taught me to love the unlovely and that everyone deserves to hear the Gospel again and again. In February of 1993 I knelt beside his bed and confessed Christ.
2. John Smith - I met John in 1997 and he was/is the most influential man in my life. For me John is the epitome of humility and has become no less than my spiritual father and mentor. Although we no longer serve in the same church I think of him continually and often ask myself, "What would John do in this situation?"
3. John Koh - I initially met John Koh on a church softball team and had no idea at the time what the Lord had in store for the intersection of our lives. At the end of our 3 years of ministry together I would say, "John Koh is the anvil that the Lord has brought to beat my life upon" and I meant every word of it. John taught me faithfulness, purity, "unction" and what it means to shepherd a family.
4. Roland Sanchez - I met Roland in 1998 in a discipleship group with John Smith, Geoff Kellogg, Roland and myself...and we positively did not like each other. Roland was very black and white and I was very....not. But over the years God fashioned a friendship that will stand the test of time. I love Roland as Jonathan loved David and he taught me what it means to make the family central, to be ready to sacrifice self, and how to be honest even when it hurts.
5. Geoff Kellogg - I never had an older brother, if I had, Geoff would be it. Geoff knows the scriptures like I never will and is as steady as a man can be. Geoff has taught me what it means to need a brother in this life and how to be a brother. He has taught me what it means to be a man who must stand up when everyone around him tells him to sit down. I talk to Geoff daily and I love our conversations which range from our current favorite micro-brew to the latest family issue in our sordid extended families. Geoff is a man among men and a brother among brothers.

These are probably the 5 men who have had the most impact in my life. There have been many, many more, ranging from my two Dad's, my two brothers, Mike Rosario, Bob DeLateur, Joe Sousa, Henry Yan, Keith Watson and many, many, many more. But there has been only one woman who has influenced me greater than all these men.

Jennifer and I have been married for 12 years this past March. We have been through soooo much together that we often sit and say, "That seems like a lifetime ago". Jennifer has taught me how to serve others even when you don't feel like it, she has taught how to exercise my faith and not settle with comfort and ease, she has taught me how to pray big, she has taught me how to laugh at myself, how to enjoy my family more than my job, she has taught me how to give love and receive love. The greatest thing that she has taught me is how to be a man. I know, it sounds weird. She has taught me to be a man by not trying to lead, by growing in submissiveness and by being the wife I can not image living without. By not stepping in and trying to run the show, she has forced me to follow the Lord and lead!

So thank you all for your investment into my life. I continue to be a pot in the Master's Hands and look forward to the next spin on the Potter's wheel.

New Pics of the Boys

We received new pictures of the boys today. All three of them are looking good and we hear that they are very anxious to meet us and come home!

keith watson: THE Mission of the Church

keith watson: THE Mission of the Church

Keith is a cousin by law and a brother by Royal Adoption. He is also very like-minded and at one point in our history we were entertaining the possibility of ministering together. We made our plans and the Lord directed our paths, so I am in Spokane and he is in Macon.

He is in the process of following the Lord's command to make disciples in Macon, GA. I was catching up on some of his posts today and stumbled across this one. I love reading Church Planters because they are forced to think through things that an established church usually does not. I loved the simplicity of the mission of the church as he sees it and as the Bible instructs us and wanted to introduce him and share his thoughts here.

If you want to watch the establishment of a local church come together by the supernatural leading and orchestration of God...then read along with Keith!