A Conversation with God

Jennifer is out running errands today and the older girls are at school. The babies are asleep so I have some time to sit and think about this whole adventure. So I stopped, and I prayed and this is kinda how it went

Me: God, are you calling us to adopt again?

God: You already know the answer to that Patrick. - I clearly tell you in James 1:27 that “Religion that is pure and undefiled before (me), is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

Me: Yeah. But I don’t know how we are going to do it?

God: Remember 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Me: Yeah. But people are going to say that we are foolish for doing this?

God: But (I)chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise (Patrick); (I) chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; It’s good that you are weak and foolish, so now I will show Myself strong and powerful and wise. 1 Corinthians 1:27

Me: Yeah. But it costs 20,000 to adopt a kid.

God: You are right, so I want you to adopt 3 kids, which will be about 26k. Have you not read Psalm 50:10 - For every beast of the forest is mine, the cattle on a thousand hills.

Me: Yeah.

And then for a moment, I felt like Mary - “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” - Luke 1:38

God is calling us to adopt!

Processing it All

I got up and walked around the house today. With the video still heavy on my heart, I realized that we have an unfinished basement, and we probably should sale our suburban and buy an older one anyway. I was also looking at our bills and trying to figure out how we could trim here and there to allow for more kids. Unfortunately, there wasn’t that much room to trim. Our daily budget isn't the only concern, I have heard how much it would cost to adopt – about 20,000 dollars for one kid. It's a slap in the face of reality. There is no way we are going to be able to do this. This may turn out to be a very short and unrealistic adventure.

Breached

I had determined to toughen up my heart against this! The video was filled with kids just like I expected, but I had really prepared myself for the emotional response that videos like that can generate. Kid after kid was interviewed and they all had similar stories in that it was hard to believe that situations really exist like that. All of them wanted a Mom and Dad because their parents were either already dead or were in the process of dying from HIV.

And then a father shuffled onto the camera with two of his kids. And for some reason his face captured me. It was weathered and cracked from age and the sun, he had on simple clothes and was clutching a hat or jacket or something. He kinda had a half smile and gently placed his kids next to each other. And the interview started. To be honest, I never heard anything they said – I got lost in my own imagination.

I put myself in his place and it was a hard thing to do. The interviewer said something about the mother had died and then I was back in my imagination again. There I sat, clutching my hat with Emma and Kayla, Bri and Ana sitting next to me. And I was explaining to an interpreter that we had no food, my wife had died of HIV and I needed someone to come and take my kids. I heard the interviewer say something about the father was dying of HIV and just wanted someone to come and take care of his kids because he wouldn’t be around much longer. So I saw myself sitting there saying the same things, and I started crying.

I can’t imagine ever asking strangers from another country to come and get my children because I was dying and they would have no one.

That was the crack in my calloused heart - I had been breached.

A Video

Jennifer has finally wrangled me into watching this video she brought home from her retreat.

Steve and Michelle Gardener are acquaintances of ours who we know through the Bades. They run an adoption ministry called Kingdom Kids Adoption Ministries (www.kingdomkidsadoption.org) and we have had some contact with them through our adoption of Bri and now Ana. Their focus has really shifted to Ethiopia and they have teamed up with Christian World Adoptions (www.cwa.org).

Michelle went over this past summer and interviewed several (approx. 100) kids at a Christian orphanage and video taped the whole thing. She gave this video to Jennifer for us to watch.

Are You Crazy??

That was my first question to Jennifer when she came home from a Retreat and shared with me that she felt like God was leading us to adopt again...this time from Ethiopia. The very thought of adopting again was laughable on so many different levels. We have not completed our adoption of Ana, we didn't make enough money, our car wasn't big enough, our house wasn't big enough and our budget wasn't big enough. Not even to mention that the kids would speak a different language, come from a different culture, eat different foods and who knows what diseases they may have been exposed to! Why would I risk all of that and walk into the face of foolishness when my life was already challenging enough?

Jennifer simply said that she knew it was crazy, but she was praying. I responded, "Yeah, you better, because it would take an act of God to move me in that direction."