Breached

I had determined to toughen up my heart against this! The video was filled with kids just like I expected, but I had really prepared myself for the emotional response that videos like that can generate. Kid after kid was interviewed and they all had similar stories in that it was hard to believe that situations really exist like that. All of them wanted a Mom and Dad because their parents were either already dead or were in the process of dying from HIV.

And then a father shuffled onto the camera with two of his kids. And for some reason his face captured me. It was weathered and cracked from age and the sun, he had on simple clothes and was clutching a hat or jacket or something. He kinda had a half smile and gently placed his kids next to each other. And the interview started. To be honest, I never heard anything they said – I got lost in my own imagination.

I put myself in his place and it was a hard thing to do. The interviewer said something about the mother had died and then I was back in my imagination again. There I sat, clutching my hat with Emma and Kayla, Bri and Ana sitting next to me. And I was explaining to an interpreter that we had no food, my wife had died of HIV and I needed someone to come and take my kids. I heard the interviewer say something about the father was dying of HIV and just wanted someone to come and take care of his kids because he wouldn’t be around much longer. So I saw myself sitting there saying the same things, and I started crying.

I can’t imagine ever asking strangers from another country to come and get my children because I was dying and they would have no one.

That was the crack in my calloused heart - I had been breached.