The Darkest Day

(Just sharing my journal entry for today)

Most people think that yesterday was the darkest day. It is the day that we celebrate the murder of Jesus. But I think in the moment, today was actually the darkest day for the Disciples. The day of the crucifixion would have raced by - the trials, the crowds, the whipping, the beatings, the mocking, the march to Golgotha. I could never imagine what those men were feeling as they saw their Lord hanging on a cross, I am sure it was surreal. And I do not want to take away from the horrors of that day - it was the day that the King of Glory died. Jesus, the I am, the bread, the life, the way, the truth and the life - dead.

But the next day, the horrific shock would have begun wearing off. Logic, reason, cold emotions - reality would have begun to set in - Jesus is DEAD!...and we may be next.

It's hard when someone you love dies. The shock of the moment is overwhelming, but it brings numbness with it. Death overwhelms the mind so much that you begin to have a hard time thinking, reasoning, making decisions...operating, it's a very pleasant and built-in thing. It's the next day that the reality of that death sets in. It's the vacancy of carpenter smell, rough touch, a familiar laugh and presence. It's not being able to walk behind him down the road and wonder at this man that you follow after. It's not being able to see his feet strike the ground when He walks, it's having your reason for living suddenly torn from you. It's the vacancy of life that wakes you from your terrified numbness.

It's the next day that it wears off and you feel the thundering loss of the whole thing. Today is that day or at least the day we remember it. So as we go about the normalcy of our day today, remember that it was today that the Disciples were waking up to the reality that God had been killed.