YOU ARE SELFISH!!

These are the words my sons yelled at me last week. We have been down to one car for quite some time and I was considering riding the bus in order to keep expenses down. We have 7 kids going to 3 different schools so that Utopian idea was quickly tossed out of the window.

We were taking a walk through the neighborhood and the boys were asking me how I could tell between an old car and a new car. We talked for awhile and I made a side comment about needing to buy another car. They seemed excited and we continued with our walk. Later that night I went into the boy's room to give out hugs, kisses and prayers and there was a very angry feeling in the room. It was quite the contrast because only moments earlier we were one big happy family strolling through sleepy Millwood. I asked, "What's wrong" and in Amharic "Meno sehetuet".

I was then hit by an onslaught of complaints:

1. My bed is too narrow.
2. My bed is too short.
3. My bed is too tall.
4. My bed is broken.
5. Our room is too small.
6. Our room is not as big as everyone else's.
7. There are three of us and all other rooms have two people.
8. Why does Katie get her own room?
9. We want our own rooms!
10. We want our own bathrooms!
11. We want a fan for each boy.
12. My shoes are dirty so I need new shoes.
13. My friend has many shoes and I only have 3 pair.
14. We only have 2 soccer balls.
15. Our bikes are too wobbly, short, tall, creaky, and broken.

And on and on the complaints went. My head was literally spinning from all of the complaints they were prepared to lodge - from the nightlight not working correctly to our clothes do not get washed fast enough - I could barely keep up. At first I reasoned with them and tried to explain why they had what they had and the thankfulness that they should be showing instead of complaining. I explained that many people had helped us with all of the things we have and they were ready for yet another attack.

1. We no longer want people to help us.
2. We do not like people bringing us food - we should have enough money to by our own food.
3. We do not like people giving us clothes - we are not beggars!
4. We do not want anything from the people at church - we are wealthy enough to take care of ourselves.

It was at this point that I began to come unglued. I told them that everything they had was given to us - their sheets, their balls, their gloves, EVERYTHING!

They then tried another tactic. We think you should not buy another vehicle and instead use the money to knock out our bedroom wall and make our room bigger. And that was about ENOUGH for me.

I angrily looked up the word for "selfish" and told them that everything they were saying revealed how selfish they were. And they fired it right back - "Patrick, YOU are selfish!"

I was angry enough to start fighting back tears. Our interchange lasted for about an hour and most of that was listening to their complaints and trying to explain why we had what we had. It was emotionally and spiritually exhausting.

The next day Caleb went to school and the other two went to work with me because they had refused to go. While everyone was out of the house, Jennifer stripped everything from them. And I do mean EVERYTHING. Socks, shoes, bedsheets, underwear, balls, bikes, gloves, pillows, Bibles, music, radio, etc - you name it and it was taken away. When the boys came home they were absolutely stunned and had no response except for open mouths. We explained to them that EVERYTHING was given to us and they were disrespecting the givers of the gifts, they were disrespecting their parents, they were disrespecting their Ethiopian parents, and most of all they had dishonored the Lord. For each "good" day, they would receive 1 item in return.

Once they had sometime to talk to one another they decided that they didn't want anything from us - only their Ethiopian Bible (not Amharic/English bible) and their address book. We said ok. That night the first thing they asked for were their bed sheets. The next day it was their Bible and the next was their bicycles. It has been a week now and they just asked for their address books last night. Funny how perspectives change.

This seems to be working well. The boys have even asked if we would spank them instead of take things away, so we know the discipline is effective. Overall we have had a good week and a half and I pray that it continues.

The two pictures above are of the new truck I am picking up tomorrow...and the second picture is of me and Noah when I showed him the picture of Dad's new truck.